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You’ll always be playing an uphill battle if you’re trying to get things heated up before sleeping with her. You don’t know how to properly talk dirty with her. Instead of preheating the oven, you’re way too hungry (or thirsty). They love men who go after what they want, but only if done in the proper manner. You shouldn’t ever come off as a brazen or rude social retard with no filter. She will think you think she is a slut and ignore you.

You throw it in on broil and then forget the oven mits when you try to take it out. For example, this is an awful text to send to a girl: There is no banter. Check out some other embarrassing sexting fails: WARNING: The following sexting examples are quite direct, and we don’t want to come across as offensive.

High-pitched sounds don’t turn anyone on – imagine Gilbert Gottfried trying to seduce someone.

You want your voice to be as soft and soothing as possible but still audible.

Try to minimize any extreme variances in loudness or speed.

Imagine how you’d speak if you were comforting her from a headache.

And clearly this is easier after you’ve slept with a girl…You may not be getting laid enough.

It’s always easier to get naked pictures and dirty texts from girls you’ve slept with before. This girl will lose the attraction she had for you, if any at all.

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a.m.: We finish fucking (me on top, fairly quick), and I call myself an Uber.

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