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I literally just changed my profile to the text you provided (I mean minutes ago), and I immediately received a message that talked in detail about the content of my profile and even said, 'So many profiles I read don't help me understand the heart of the person. ” — Emma, 47, on in DC “Unfortunately, some of us don't feel comfortable asking friends to critique our dating profiles, so it's appreciated when a stranger does.

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Nobody teaches effective email techniques based on actual research. My theory is because it’s easiest – it’s what comes naturally to you. Please, please, please consider going out with me.” For example, if someone says in his profile that he likes Costa Rica, you think about all the things you know about Costa Rica and search your brain for a humorous angle.

The closest anybody gets is Ok Cupid – and all they do is give you test results – approximately 27% of people respond to first emails, overall – they don’t show you HOW to write great first emails. You have a great smile and I think we have a lot in common, too. So you don’t put much thought into it, and, not surprisingly, it doesn’t get very good results. There’s nothing funny, interesting, compelling, or different about such an email. Something other than, “I’ve heard it’s beautiful there! ” Personally, I don’t know ANYTHING about Costa Rica, but I do know that all of my left-wing, liberal, neo-hippie friends go on yoga retreats there. I don’t know anything about Costa Rica; I think it’s in the Caribbean or Central America or something like that.

“After a few weeks, a lovely little lady sent me a message and guess what: we've been dating for 8 months!

Things are going really well, and we're both confident this is something permanent. It was a pleasure working with you and hope you can help others like me.” — Greg, 29, on Ok Cupid in Los Angeles, CA “How's this for immediate feedback?

I should have stopped responding, but I was physically attracted to him⎯something that didn't happen often. If you answered yes to any of these, you might need a list of polite questions you can bring along on your dates.

Prior to that, I spent five years having odd, incomprehensible, maddening, and deeply disheartening encounters like the one with Gary. Sometimes I'd get an email from someone who was exasperated by my own flaky behavior. With no agreed-upon etiquette, all of us did what we could get away with, or we emulated others. My opinion is this: If a same-sex couple is meeting for the first time, one of you should assume full financial responsibility. At first I thought we both had on the wrong outfits.

We actually monitor all registrations and all member activity day and night, 365 days a year!

Even though we catch and ban many of these scammers, on occasion one or two may sneak through.

Put on your battle gear because dating has become a minefield strewn with fakes ready to blow up in your face …

they’ll tell you everything you want to hear, but at a price.

Or, the scammer may appear to be somewhat legitimate and we give them the benefit of the doubt for a short time.

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